


Real

by I_am_a_closet_fanfic_fiend



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Challenge fic, F/F, Happy Ending, Kidnapping, Mild Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:54:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26488276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_am_a_closet_fanfic_fiend/pseuds/I_am_a_closet_fanfic_fiend
Summary: Prompt: “Did you just ask me to marry you?” “…Maybe”Summary: Sometimes with Natasha it’s hard to know what’s real.
Relationships: natasha Romanoff/reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 103





	Real

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This one is for @shitty-imagines-95 2k Challenge! Congrats on 2k lovely. You deserve every one of them. Love your writing. You inspire me! Mwah!

As you lay in bed beside Natasha you couldn’t help the pit in your stomach. 

“What’s wrong, y/n?” She asked as tucked her hands under her head. “I can hear the gears turning in your brain.” 

You traced along her rib cage absent-mindedly. 

“I just have a bad feeling about this mission.” 

“It’s gonna be fine. It’s just a standard recon.” 

“I know but…” 

She leaned forward and kissed you before snuggling into you.

“It’s just routine. In and out in 72.” 

“Just come back to me,” you mumbled into her hair. 

“I promise I’m going to come back to you. Like always.” 

You let yourself believe her as you wound your arms around her. 

She was already snoring softly when you whispered, “I love you,” before trying to fall asleep. 

* * *

As you woke up, you reached out but found the other side of the bed empty. 

“Stay,” you whispered as you spotted Natasha looking for her shirt. 

“I don’t want to risk it. We’re leaving before dawn and Tony doesn’t like boundaries,” she reminded you. “He’ll be outside my door long before then. And I don’t want to have to walk of shame in front of him.” 

“Right. Of course not,” you muttered. 

She finished pulling on her shirt and stopped to look at you 

“What’s got your panties in a twist?” 

“I’m tired of hiding our relationship, Nat.” She tensed. “We’ve been dating for over a year and you still sneak out of my room like I’m some booty call.”

Natasha sighed clearly frustrated and returned to looking for her leggings. 

“It’s complicated. Can we talk about this when I get back?” 

“It’s actually pretty simple. Are you ever going to stop being ashamed of me?” You wished your voice wasn’t so weak. 

“Is that really what you think?” Her voice and expression were unreadable. 

“What else am I supposed to think, Nat? If you don’t want me, maybe we should just end this. Because I don’t think I can keep doing this.”

“Look, my head’s not in this and I don’t want to say something we’ll both regret. Can we please have this conversation when I’m back?” 

You weren’t sure why you were expecting some grandiose expression of love but her quiet resignation hit you hard. 

“Yeah. Sure. Have a good mission.” 

You rolled over so you wouldn’t have to watch her leave. And so she wouldn’t see your tears. Despite her stealth you still heard when she paused at the door. 

“I’ll see you in a few days, y/n.” 

You didn’t respond. 

* * *

You felt awful in the morning when you woke up. You knew it wasn’t fair to try to push Natasha, but feeling like you were just some hookup still stung. But you also knew you didn’t want her out of your life, so you would apologize when she got back. What was a few days? 

A few days turned into a week and then into two. You returned from a mission only for Wanda to tell you they had lost contact with Nat and Tony and Steve and Bucky had been sent in on a rescue mission. 

You waited three days for them to return, trying desperately to quell the terrible feeling in the pit of your stomach.

But then Tony was wheeled off the qunjet on a gurney and Steve and Bucky shared a look before they walked over to you. 

“Y/n,” Steve said quietly.

You knew that tone. You had used that tone after too many missions. 

“No,” you shook your head. “No. No. No. She’s not. She can’t be,” you whispered. 

“We couldn’t find her. We think they took her,” Bucky reported. 

A shard of hope pierced the darkness. 

“So then she’s still alive.” 

“We don’t know,” Steve admitted. “The camp was empty. We found Tony knocked out and tied up. And his armor was gone.” 

“Is he going to be okay?” 

“He should be. But Dr. Cho will look for any internal lasting damage.” 

Knowing there was nothing you could do for Tony, your thoughts immediately turned back to Natasha. 

“We have to get started looking for her. It makes the most sense to start by tracking the armor and black market offers for the tech.” 

You were already running through algorithms and search parameters in your mind when Steve put his hand on your shoulder to stop you. 

“We’re going to do everything in our power, but I wouldn’t get your hopes up.” 

Bucky grimaced, “These people aren’t known for keeping their captives alive.” 

“It’s Nat. If anyone can survive it. She can,” you informed him in no uncertain terms. 

You weren’t sure who you were trying to convince. 

* * *

The team spent the next few months tracking every lead that came your way. You successfully located and reacquired Tony’s suit. You also located another hideout and destroyed the replicated Iron Man tech, but there was still no sign of her. But as time passed, everyone else gave up. And no one could understand why you wouldn’t. 

One night, about eight months after she had gone missing, you were in the computer room when Steve placed a mug of chamomile tea down on the console before pulling up a rolling chair next to you. 

“You should try to get some sleep.” 

You scoffed and sipped your tea as you tweaked a search parameter. 

“She wouldn’t want this for you.” 

“I am not giving up on her,” you growled. “And if you order me to you’re a massive hypocrite.” 

“I’m not asking you to,” he assured you. “I know she meant a lot to you.” 

“She meant a lot to you too.” 

“Not in the same way.” 

You met his understanding gaze and suddenly wonder how many other people knew. As if he could read your mind he spoke up, “Just Bucky.” 

“How did you two know?” 

“It’s easy to spot other people in love.”

“Especially when you live next door to them and they’re loud at night.” 

Your head shot to the door when you heard Bucky’s voice. You were embarrassed, but it was also a relief not to hide how upset you were. 

“Buck,” Steve warned. 

He shrugged and pulled up a chair. 

“We had a fight right before she left,” you confided in them. “I basically gave her an ultimatum to go public or break up.” 

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” 

“I can’t believe that that’s the last thing I said to her.” 

“You had no idea what would happen, doll. It was supposed to be routine,” Bucky reminded you. 

“Nothing is ever routine with us.” 

“Still. You had no idea what was going to happen.” 

“Is it guilt that’s driving you?” Steve asked quietly. He wasn’t judging and you knew he’d been in the same position. 

“No? Not totally,” you amended when you received matching looks of disbelief. “I really believe if anyone can survive, it’s Nat. And I can’t give up if there’s a chance. I love her.”

A soft smile crossed Steve’s expression. 

“Then we’ll keep looking. But not at your expense.”

“I’m fine.” 

“When was the last time you slept?” Bucky asked firmly. 

You shrugged, “I got a couple hours a few days ago.” 

“Nat wouldn’t want you killing yourself to find her. You need to take care of yourself.” 

You knew they were right. You were no good to the team or anyone else running yourself ragged. 

“You promise you won’t give up?” 

“I swear. As long as there is a chance. We’ll keep looking.” 

“Thank you, both.” 

“Of course, y/n. Now, it’s time for bed. We’ll take a fresh look in the morning.” 

* * *

You were well aware the super soldiers thought you should just mourn her, but they were true to their word. While the others had long since given up, you, Steve, and Bucky had continued searching at every opportunity. Finally as you were approaching the two year anniversary of her disappearance your algorithm flagged a news report. 

_Red headed female steals motor bike in Venice after incapacitating nine assailants._

It was a longshot, but it was the best you had. When you told Steve he dispatched agents in the area immediately and he and Bucky were on a quinjet minutes later. Still recovering from a recent gunshot wound, you reluctantly stayed at the compound tracking news reports and sightings feeding information to the guys on her potential location. 

It seemed like ages before Steve’s voice crackled over the comms.

“We’ve got her. We’re coming home.” 

* * *

You were waiting in the hangar bay when the quinjet landed. You let out a slow breath when they finally stepped off out. Nat was wedged between the two super soldiers, limping but supporting most of her own weight, and she smiled when she saw you. 

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” 

Finally hearing her voice after almost two years made it real and you were suddenly sprinting towards her. 

“You’re really here,” you whispered as you touched her cheek. “You came back to me.” 

“I promised I would.”

You hadn’t realized how tight your chest had been until the elephant got up as you hugged her. You would have been happy to stay there forever, but there was a soft cough behind you. 

“She needs to get up to the med bay, doll,” Bucky urged quietly. 

“Right. Of course,” you mumbled. 

You took a moment to take stock of her, before pulling her arm over your shoulders so you could support some of her weight. Bruce tried to usher you out of the room so he could run tests, but twin glares from you and Natasha silenced him. 

She had three cracked ribs, but apart from that the rest of the scrapes and bruises were relatively superficial. Bruce still put her on bed rest. 

* * *

After the initial relief of having Nat home wore off, the uncertainty crept in. You weren’t sure where the two of you stood, so you were careful not to spend more time than anyone else with her, which was frustrating. 

Finally, two weeks after they had brought Nat home, you wandered into the kitchen early in the morning surprised to find it empty. There wasn’t even any coffee made. 

“Hey, FRIDAY, where is everybody?” 

“They’re on a training exercise.” 

You jumped when Nat answered you instead of the AI. 

“Oh, hey. You’re out of the med bay.” 

“Bruce signed my release before they left,” she explained, leaning in the doorway. 

The sudden prospect of having one of the most important conversations of your life was overwhelming. 

You swallowed nervously as you busied yourself at the coffee pot, “So they’re _all_ on this training exercise?” 

“Yep. It’s just you and me. So it’ll be harder to avoid me.” 

Her voice was light, teasing, but you could make out a certain level of sadness. 

“I wasn’t avoiding you.” 

Her expression told you she didn’t believe you for a second. 

“I wasn’t sure where we stood, and I didn’t want the team to start asking questions.” 

She mulled your answer before responding, and you started to gather ingredients for breakfast. 

“That’s fair. Maybe we should figure out where we stand.” 

“That would probably be for the best. But food first.” 

She smiled and nodded her agreement. 

You quickly whipped up a few of her favorites as she perched on the counter beside you. You relished her presence, but it was odd to have such a calm domestic moment. Even before she went missing, these quiet moments were practically nonexistent. 

After you had eaten, you settled into the living room face to face on the loveseat. 

“Why do you look scared to touch me?” she murmured. “I’m healed, you know.” 

“I’m scared you’re not real. I’m scared you’re going to disappear,” you mumbled. 

Natasha twined your fingers together and brushed her knuckles against your cheeks. 

“I’m here. I’m real.” 

“I’m so glad you’re safe.” You laid your hand against her cheek, “I love you, Natasha.” 

You didn’t mean for it to slip out, but you were tired of dodging it. Nat looked slightly stunned. You panicked and began babbling, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. You’ve been through so much, and I just-“

“I love you, too,” she cut you off. It was your turn to be stunned. She chuckled before continuing, “I always have. When I was captured, all I could think about was you. I needed to stay alive so I could get back to you. So I could tell you.” 

“I should have tried harder to find you.” 

“You did find me.”

“Two years. I should have done more. I just. I didn’t….” 

“You did everything you could. Even when everyone else gave up.” 

You looked at her in surprise. 

“Steve told me that the rest of them wrote me off as dead a year ago. But not you.” 

“Nobody understood why I wouldn’t just mourn you. They couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t let you go.” 

No one had the guts to ask you outright, but they didn’t exactly hide their confusion. 

“I for one am very glad you didn’t. You know, I made a promise to myself when I was in that hole.” 

You shifted closer, tucking your legs under you. “And what was that?” 

“To stop being afraid.” 

You couldn’t help but scoff slightly. “What could you possibly be afraid of?” 

“Letting the good things happen to me.” 

“I don’t understand,” you admitted slowly. 

She looked down at your twined hands, unable to meet your gaze any longer. “I replayed the last conversation we had over in my mind a million times.” 

“I never should have said that to you. I’m so sorry.” 

“No. Don’t be,” She looked up at you so you knew she was serious. “I understand where you were coming from. You were wrong about my being ashamed of you. But I had been keeping you at arm’s length. I was scared of letting everyone know we were together. I was afraid it would make it all real. And if it was real you could be taken from me. Like everything else that I’ve loved has been.” 

You felt like an idiot for not seeing that before. 

“But I am done letting my fear keep me from the person I want to be with. I love you, y/n. I love you so much and I want to call you mine in front of the whole world. I want to bind myself to you in every way possible.” 

Your mouth started working before your brain did. 

**_“Did you just ask me to marry you?”_ **

**_“…Maybe…_** ” She hedged, “Did you just say yes?” 

Her hopeful look made your heart soar. You surged forward and kissed her. 

“Yes. Absolutely yes.” 

“I uh don’t have a ring or anything.” 

You were laughing and crying at the same time. 

“I just want you anyways.” 


End file.
